The Day I Decided to Quit Killing Myself

Let me start by saying I LOVE smoking. That is a horrible fact to admit especially with today’s stigma attached to the subject but I really do enjoy it.

So this story starts about 38 years ago when I was just a young boy. My parents were 70s kids and they grew up in a time where smoking was normal and socially accepted. Everyone smoked and you could smoke anywhere you went the grocery store, the restaurant where you were eating dinner, work and even the doctor’s office. Heck even the doctor was probably smoking in the visit with you. cbd dortmund

Now I was about 5 or 6 years old and my parents smoked around me and I hated it. I just could not stand the smell of the smoke and I hated smelling like smoke all the time. I would gripe and moan begging them to stop telling them it was nasty and making me sick and of course they would respond with the normal parental response of “quit your bitching”. I remember one time I was still really young but I had gotten into my mother’s purse and decided I was going to make her quit. So I grabbed her pack of “Marlboros” and I was going to show her and I threw them in the toilet and just left them floating there. Well my mom found them like that and she was furious at me. I probably got called every name in the book but at the end of it all she calmed down and talked to me about it. She said “it really bothers you that bad huh?” Well I just told her that it was gross and stinky and didn’t like going to school and smelling like smoke all day. She agreed it was a nasty habit and that she would try to quit. Well of course like many people who “try to quit” it didn’t really work. A couple of months after this event my mom found out that she was pregnant with what I was sure was my little brother and when she found out she was pregnant she looked at me and said “I will grant you your wish” and she never smoked again. Following my mother’s lead Mt dad even decided to quit smoking and to this day they have never smoked again.

Fast forward about 10 years. I was about 15 or so and I knew by this point I had an addictive personality even if I didn’t know what that was at the time I knew that I tended to over indulge in anything I found enjoyable. One day I was riding my bike along a highway(small town highway) and I found a pack of cigarettes that must have accidentally been dropped.by someone. I picked them up even though I had never had any interest in smoking I thought I was cool with those things in my pocket. You might be thinking to yourself that must be when he started smoking but you would be wrong. I kept that pack of cigarettes hidden in my room for months and every once in a while I would get them out and look at them and smell them and even act like I was smoking but I knew better than to ever actually light one up because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop once I started and remember all those years ago how nasty my parents smelled because of those things.

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